Maythegr8ness

It's-a-me! May!
What's good? I'm May. I like making people happy. I'm also a fan of people who humanize strange places, like the internet. I like fresh tomatoes, all rivers, most lakes, and swimming without athleticism. I like the word litost, the orcas who swim into fishing boats, and the cows that ran away in Canada. I love the lady who tried to defend the town's interests and lure the cows back to captivity by playing her flute; I love that she was the mayor. I love Nanci Griffith, anagrams, and getting to see your face. Mostly I like problems of my own choosing, solving said problems, and every single ass pun in "Mercy."

Turn ons: In all likelihood, you. I don't care about a fictitious 9 inches or your gains at the gym. I'll probably like YOU more than anything.
Turn offs: Micromanagement and entitlement.
Proclivities: I lean sub with brat tendencies. I think dominance should be earned, but it is the internet, so if you'd like to skip that step, I can always pretend. Oh, baby. Just like that.
What's the kinkiest thing I've ever done?: My dude, that is so subjective. Fucked in strange places? This? You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.
What's my fantasty?: Oh the usual... something between a gang bang and a fence of real chain link.
Do I do role play?: Yes, but I don't entertain role play that calls for even make-believe kids or animals, and I don't do humiliation.
JOI?: Sure. Show me.
Have I cum today? :Sunshine, you should be answering that question for me.

Socials etc: If you're looking for me you can find me with this name anywhere I am. If you can't find me, I'm not there. I am not on snapchat, nor will I talk about snapchat, nor will I download snapchat, nor will I regret it. I am not on twitter, nor Truth, nor Bumble, nor Facebook, nor Call of Duty, nor Reddit. I was on your mom last Friday, but I got bored, so I got off and left. Still, you ought to be able to find me insta ntly. (Bonus points if you send me good Graham Norton clips when you do... or Taskmaster, which is syntactically unrelated, but preferable because I really like one of the comedians in the most recent season and never remenber to watch television).

Have fun out there! It's a big, sloppy internet. Make it better, not worse.